STUPID STUFF FRAUDSTERS BUY: Et Tu, Fraudster?

After stealing nearly $55 million in cryptocurrency, a Maryland hacker went shopping for Julius Caesar’s assassination, a piece of the moon landing, and millions of dollars in trading cards.

–

New York, NY – October 23, 2026 – Some fraudsters steal millions and buy Lamborghinis. Others buy mansions, yachts, Rolex watches, or enough designer clothing to outfit a small European monarchy. Jonathan Spalletta apparently had different priorities.

The 36-year-old Maryland man, convicted October 7 in federal court of computer fraud and money laundering, went on a shopping spree that would make a billionaire comic book collector jealous.

His purchases included a 2,000-year-old Roman coin commemorating the assassination of Julius Caesar, a piece of fabric from the Wright brothers’ original airplane that traveled to the moon, and more than $3 million worth of collectible trading cards.

Apparently, when you steal nearly $55 million in cryptocurrency, the usual luxury automobile just isn’t imaginative enough.

–

Et Tu, Brute? That’ll Be $601,545, Please.

STUPID STUFF FRAUDSTERS BUY: Et Tu, Fraudster? — Click to enlarge

Among Spalletta’s more unusual acquisitions was an ancient Roman silver coin known as an Eid Mar Denarius, commemorating the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 B.C.

The coin, associated with Caesar’s assassin Marcus Junius Brutus, features imagery celebrating one of history’s most infamous political murders. And Spalletta paid approximately $601,545 for it.

Six hundred thousand dollars for a coin celebrating a stabbing that happened more than two millennia ago.

To be fair, ancient Roman coins are highly prized historical artifacts, and the Eid Mar Denarius is particularly rare. But it takes a special kind of collector to look at $600,000 and decide the best investment is a souvenir from the assassination of Julius Caesar.

One wonders whether the purchase came with a warning about betrayal.

–

One Small Piece of Fabric, One Giant Leap for Fraud

If the Roman coin wasn’t unusual enough, Spalletta also purchased a piece of fabric from the Wright brothers’ original airplane.

But this wasn’t just any old piece of airplane fabric.

The material had reportedly been carried to the surface of the moon by astronaut Neil Armstrong during the Apollo 11 mission in 1969.

Price tag: $137,500.

That’s a remarkable amount of money for a piece of cloth, although its extraordinary connection to two of aviation’s greatest achievements makes it a legitimate historical collectible.

Still, the irony is difficult to ignore.

The Wright brothers helped humanity learn to fly. Neil Armstrong helped humanity reach the moon.

Spalletta allegedly acquired his piece of that history with money stolen from people who had invested in something called Uranium Finance.

One giant leap for mankind. One expensive swatch for a hacker.

–

Gotta Collect ‘Em All. At Any Price.

Of course, no modern fraudster’s spending spree would be complete without something that makes absolutely no sense to anyone who hasn’t spent the past twenty years collecting it.

In Spalletta’s case, that meant trading cards.

Not a few packs from the local hobby shop, either. According to federal prosecutors, his purchases included:

$500,000 for a rare Black Lotus card from Magic: The Gathering.
$1,512,500 for 18 sealed Alpha Booster packs from the same game.
$257,500 for a sealed box of first-edition Pokémon booster cards.
$750,000 for a complete first-edition Pokémon base set.

That’s approximately $3.02 million in trading cards.

For perspective, that’s enough money to buy a respectable collection of exotic cars or a substantial house. Instead, Spalletta bought cardboard.

Granted, extraordinarily rare, collectible, potentially investment-grade cardboard.

But cardboard nonetheless.

And somewhere out there, a kid with a shoebox full of old Pokémon cards is now frantically searching the attic.

–

How to Turn $55 Million Into a Federal Conviction

The money behind this extraordinary shopping expedition came from a series of cryptocurrency exploits targeting Uranium Finance, a decentralized cryptocurrency exchange.

According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York, Spalletta exploited vulnerabilities in the platform’s computer code during two attacks in April 2021.

The first netted approximately $1.4 million. The second, conducted across 26 cryptocurrency liquidity pools, yielded approximately $53.3 million and contributed to the exchange’s collapse.

Prosecutors said Spalletta subsequently laundered the stolen cryptocurrency through a series of transactions, including use of the cryptocurrency mixing service Tornado Cash.

In a particularly revealing message cited by prosecutors, Spalletta reportedly dismissed the seriousness of the theft with the observation: “Crypto is just fake internet money anyway.”

Unfortunately for Spalletta, the federal government apparently disagreed.

Following a six-day jury trial before U.S. District Judge Jed S. Rakoff, Spalletta was convicted of computer fraud and money laundering.

The computer fraud conviction carries a statutory maximum penalty of 10 years in prison, while money laundering carries a maximum of 20 years. His actual sentence will be determined by the court.

Federal authorities also seized approximately $31 million in cryptocurrency in February 2025, along with collectible items recovered during the investigation.

–

The Trouble with Buying History

There’s something almost admirable about a person who develops a genuine appreciation for history, aviation, and rare collectibles.

The problem arises when the money used to purchase those treasures belongs to somebody else.

Spalletta could have bought virtually anything with his stolen millions. Instead, he assembled a collection that included the assassination of a Roman dictator, a piece of mankind’s first powered airplane that later visited the moon, and enough collectible gaming cards to make a convention hall jealous.

And now, thanks to federal investigators, some of those treasures have become government evidence.

The ancient Romans had a saying: Alea iacta est.

The die is cast.

In Spalletta’s case, the cards have been dealt, the jury has spoken, and the only thing left to collect may be a federal prison sentence.

And unlike his Black Lotus card, that one isn’t especially rare.

Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Southern District of New York, October 7, 2026, and March 30, 2026. United States v. Spalletta, Case No. 26-cr-118.

–

STUPID STUFF FRAUDSTERS BUY: Gotta Fraud ’Em All!

STUPID STUFF FRAUDSTERS BUY: The Gold-Plated Cybertruck